ONE NIGHT IN QUARK'S PLACE

Content:
Gen
All Characters
No Sexual Situations
No Violence

With thanks and apologies to Paramount and Tim Rice, and proceeding under the assumption that forgiveness is easier to ask than permission....

I never write filks, but today I was driving  to work and heard one of my favorite songs, "One Night in Bangkok," written by Tim Rice (and a few others) for the show "Chess." It's always reminded me of Quark and Garak (especially Garak).

And so I messed with it today ... sorry, T.R.

THE MAJOR

Quark's Place! Quirky little setting
And the stranger don't know what the stranger is getting
The creme de Ia creme of the Alpha Quadrant in a
Show with everything but Gul Dukat.

THE EMISSARY

Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute
Since the Cardassian spa had the Jem Hadaar in it
All change -- don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue
It's Cardassia -- or the Klingon home world -- or Bajor -- or -- or this place!

CHORUS

One night in Quark's Place and the deal's your order
The bar is open but the drinks ain't free

THE DOCTOR

You'll find a spy in every darkened corner

THE FERENGI

But if you pay you'll hear it first from me
I can feel an offer sliding up to me

THE KLINGON

One bar's very like another
When your head's down over your business, brother

THE TRILL

It's a drag, its a bore, its really such a pity
To be looking at the deal, not the girls who are pretty

THE FERENGI

That's right! You've never seen one less than perfect Dabo girl --

THE DOCTOR

Wine, girls -- warm and sweet -- warm, sweet
Send some up to the second level holosuite

THE TAILOR

Dear boy! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my foreplay above the waistline, most times

CHORUS

One night in Quark's can make a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Quark's Place and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

THE EMISSARY

Bajor's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of diplomatic fitness
This bar's seen more negotiation
Than the council chambers of the Federation

THE CONSTABLE

And thank your stars I'm watching the game -- controlling it --
I don't see you boys rating
The kind of deal Quark's contemplating
I'd let you watch, I might invite you
But the barkeep's terms would not delight you
So you'd better go back to your wine, your whispers, your "trade agreements"

CHORUS

One night in Quark's Place and the world's your order
The bar is open but the drinks ain't free
You'll find a girl from every changing border
A little flesh, a little history

THE FERENGI

I can feel an offer sliding up to me

THE CHORUS

One night in Quark's can make a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Quark's Place and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me.

~ 30 ~

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