HALF AFT
Now Open to Klingons

I don't like Klingons, it is true
I don't like Klingons, old or new
Every show has Klingons there
I never thought that it was fair

I do not like them out in space
I do not like them in my face
I do not like their swords and knives
I do not like their wild lives

On every Star Trek franchise show
Klingons come and never go
On TOS, Next Generation
And on the DS9 space station

I thought Janeway gave them the slip
But half a Klingon's on her ship
They're in the films, they're in the books
With bat'leths drawn, and dirty looks

And Woof, who says he wants to fall
In battle, stays longest of all
To die there have been many days
But that darn Woof, he stays and stays

He talks of honor, drinks blood wine
But mostly what he does is whine
He's even sleeping now with Dax
Whose taste has grown a little lax

And now we've Klingons on our ship
With attitudes, and lots of lip
They spill and stain the Half Aft bar
They break the glassware as they spar

When they woo, they waste whipped cream
They trash the ship to let off steam
Their hair clogs up the sonic drains
And all in all, they all are pains

Their lusty men and busty wimmin
Leave the humans' heads a spinnin'
The gals parade with boobs half bare
The men leave crewgirls worse for wear

I guess that warriors have their place
Even here in outer space
I s'pose that I should be more tolerant
As there's so many in this quadrant

So as of now, down in Half Aft
(Although I surely must be daft)
A Klingon corner, with their own table
Reinforced, so it stays stable

The chairs are nailed to the floor
I've also reinforced the door
The dishes are unbreakable
The silverware, untakable

No napkins that they'd never use
No flowers for them to abuse
And on the tabletop, a sign
"You break my stuff, your pay is mine."

Let no one say I don't serve all
Let no one say GreenWoman's small
Of spirit, or that I am cold
To Klingons brave and Klingons bold

All I ask from here on out
Of warrior folk when they're about
Go ahead and be a Klingon
But please, oh please, no opera singin'.

 ~ Return to AOL Trekkers Over & Around Forty ~