DUET

Content:
Slash
Jim/Blair
No Sexual Situations
No Violence

7/2/00

Absence and hindsight make the heart grow fonder.

This tale takes place shortly after "The Sentinel by Blair Sandburg."

With thanks and apologies to Pet Fly and Marc Anthony, and proceeding under the assumption that forgiveness is easier to ask than permission ...

I just wanted you to comfort me
When I called you late last night you see
I was fallin' into love
Oh yes I was crashing into love

YOU SANG TO ME ~ Marc Anthony

~~~

THURSDAY NIGHT

~~~

"I'm sorry, Mr. Ellison, but there's no answer in Mr. Sandburg's room. Would you like to leave a voice mail?"

"Ah, yes. Please."

"Please hold."

"If you'd like to leave a message for Room 237, please wait for the tone."

-beep-

"Ah, hey there, Chief. Just called to make sure you ... ah ... got in okay. I'll be out tonight ... stakeout ... you don't have to ... ah ... well, call me back if you can. Let me know you got in okay. Bye. Oh, this is Jim."

Shit. "This is Jim." How lame ... he knows it's me.

Shit.

~~~

Oh of all the words you sang to me
About life, the truth and being free
Yeah you sang to me
Oh how you sang to me

~~~

FRIDAY MORNING

~~~

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sandburg is not answering. Would you like to leave a voice mail?"

"Yeah."

"Hold please."

"If you'd like to leave a message for Room 237, please wait for the tone."

-beep-

"Okay, Sandburg. I know the plane didn't crash ... I'm sure the Today Show would have mentioned it. Thanks for the call ... not."

Jeezus, Ellison. That's gonna fix things. When am I ever going to learn not to put out a fire with gasoline?

Or learn to warm my hands at it instead of trying to put it out....

What the hell am I going to say to him when he does call back?

If he does call back.

Jeezus, Ellison. Better try that again.

~~~

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sandburg is still not answering. Would you like to leave another voice mail?"

"Yeah. I would."

"Please hold."

"If you'd like to leave a message for Room 237, please wait for the tone."

-beep-

"Look, Chief ... I'm sorry. Ignore ... ah ... that other call. I just ... I hope the conference goes well, and you and Joel have a good time. I'll be at the station today ... most of the day ... ah ... give me a call when you can."

Better. Okay.

God, it's quiet around here. And no breakfast. What am I saying? I can cook my own breakfast. I don't need him to....

But I want him to.

Shit.

He'll call back. He's not like me.

He'll call back.

~~~

I live off how you make me feel
So I question all this being real
Cuz I'm not afraid to love
For the first time I'm not afraid of love

~~~

FRIDAY NIGHT

~~~

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sandburg seems to be out. Would you like to leave a voice mail?"

"Sure."

"Hold please."

"If you'd like to leave a message for Room 237, please wait for the tone."

-beep-

"Chief, it's 9:30 at night. I guess you're out talking shop, huh? Ah ... I just wanted to say, about what happened ... what I said when you told me... ah ... look, you kind of took me by surprise, you know? Not your fault, okay? Um ... anyway, I'm sorry. You have a good time. We can talk later. Call me when you can."

Call me, Chief. I need to talk to you about this. Call me now. Call me fuckin' yesterday, okay? Just call me.

~~~

Oh this day seems made for you and me
And you showed me what life needs to be
Yeah you sang to me
Oh you sang to me

~~~

SATURDAY MORNING

~~~

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sandburg is not answering. Would you like to leave a voice mail?"

"Yes. Please."

"Please hold."

"If you'd like to leave a message for Room 237, please wait for the tone."

-beep-

"Hey, it's me. Again. Just wondering if you got my messages. You know, Sandburg, you could take a minute to check in. I know this is usually your line, but we should talk. About the other night. ... I ... ah ... Dammit, Sandburg, why am I explaining this to you? It's your job to explain it to me, isn't it? So call and fuckin' explain, will you?"

Oh, that was good. What the hell is the matter with me? Fear-based responses ... oh yeah.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Redial.

Breathe....

~~~

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sandburg is still not answering. Would you like to leave another voice mail?"

"Yeah. Right. Thanks."

"Please hold."

"If you'd like to leave a message for Room 237, please wait for the tone."

-beep-

"Okay, ignore that last call. But Chief ... Blair. Blair. Look ... I really need to talk to you. Call me when you get in, okay? It's ... ah ... it's important. Thanks, babe."

Babe? "Babe"? Where the hell did that come from? Oh hell, Ellison, you know damn well where it came from. Will it spook him? Spooks the hell out of me.

Shit.

But I'll bet it gets his attention....

~~~

SATURDAY EVENING

~~~

"Ellison's. Leave a message."

-beep-

"Jim? Jim, if you're there, pick up the phone, man. Jim? Shit. Okay. Look, I don't want-- Wait, forget that. It's not what I want to say. Well, maybe it is, but it's nonproductive, so scratch it. Yeah, we do need to talk. But we'll talk about Thursday morning later. Right now we need to talk about Thursday night. But I'm only here at the hotel for a little bit, I've gotta get back to the hospital, but if you'll just--"

-beep-

HOSPITAL?! Goddammit. I had to go out and get that beer ... which I wouldn't be drinking so much of if he was here anyway. And Mr. Bad Timing chooses the one half-hour that I'm out of the loft to call. And then he doesn't talk fast enough. That's gotta be a first.

Hospital?! Jeesuz, Chief, did you call back? The machine's still blinking....

~~~

"Ellison's. Leave a message."

-beep-

"Jim? Sorry, didn't talk fast enough. Imagine that. Me, not talking fast enough. Anyway, I'll try to call you back later tonight but if I don't it only means that I'm busy and not that I don't want to talk, okay? Seriously. Believe it. Okay? Okay. Bye."

-beep-

Too busy to talk about being in the hospital? And he thinks I'm going to settle for that?

~~~

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sandburg is not answering. Would you like to leave a voice mail?"

"Um, do you know where he is?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Do you know where Mr. Sandburg is? He left me a phone message about being in the hospital...."

"I'm sorry, sir, but all I can tell you is that he hasn't checked out of the hotel."

"Okay. Okay. Um ... can you ring Joel Taggert's room, please?"

"One moment, please."

Dammit, Joel, pick up. You were supposed to watch him for me. Come on, Taggert....

"I'm sorry, sir, but Mr. Taggert appears to be out as well. Would you like to leave a voice mail?"

"Yes. No. Yes. Send me back to Sandburg's. Please."

"Please hold."

"If you'd like to leave a message for Room 237, please wait for the tone."

-beep-

"Hospital, Chief? HOSPITAL?! Look, your hotel won't give me any info, and I can't get hold of Joel either, and I really need to know what the hell are you doing in the hospital? Call me. Tonight Don't screw around with this number, call the cell phone. I'll be sleeping with it. I need to hear from you about this. Doesn't matter how late it is, call m--"

-beep-

Breathe.

Hospital.

Breathe.

I hate this.

Breathe.

Okay, change of plan.

Redial.

~~~

"Mr. Ellison, Mr. Sandburg is still not answering. Would you like to leave another voice mail?"

"That's why I'm calling back."

"Yes, sir. Please hold."

"If you'd like to leave a message for Room 237, please wait for the tone."

-beep-

"Okay, Chief, whatever is wrong, don't worry. I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can get a flight. I'm carrying the cell, so call me."

Good. A start. Now move on to step two. Where's the phone book? Ah, there. Under ... what the hell is this? "Zen and the Art of Target Shooting"?

Sandburg, you idiot.

Okay. Phone book. Yellow pages.

A-I-R-L-I-N-E-S....

Hospital. Shit.

~~~

How I long to hear you sing
Beneath the clear blue skies
And I promise you this time
I'll see it in your eyes

~~~

SUNDAY MORNING

~~~

"Jim?"

"Blair! Chief ... thank god. Where are you? What's going on? Jeezus, why haven't you called?!"

I'm yelling at him. Stop yelling at him.

"It's okay, Jim. I'm okay, I'm fine."

"Fine. Okay."

Breathe.

"Okay. Tell me."

"Yeah, right. Jim, I'm really sorry about that message the other night. It didn't occur to me that it would freak you out. It should have occurred to me, but I wasn't thinking, I should have known it would freak--"

If he's got the energy to babble like that, he must be okay. Thank god.

"Blair. Stop. Breathe. Now, just answer in simple phrases, words of one syllable. Are you hurt?"

"Hurt? Me? Ah, no, man, no. Not hurt. Not me."

Thank god.

"All right. Someone else is hurt then."

"Yeah. Joel. Joel's hurt."

No....

"Joel? Tell me."

"Well, you see, we were going to dinner Thursday night, and we came out of the hotel and walked to the corner and the light turned green and we started across and Joel was behind me and he saw the car and I didn't and--"

"Slow down, buddy. Joel got hit by a car?"

"Yeah, man, the guy was drunk! Not Joel, the driver. And he pushed me out of the way -- not the driver, Joel did -- and all I got was a banged-up knee and a broken arm and my leather jacket is totally--"

A BROKEN ARM?!

"A BROKEN ARM?! You said you weren't hurt! Blair...."

"I'm not hurt, man. Joel's the one in the hospital! They tried to send me home, I mean, back here to the hotel, but Joel's got a broken leg and a couple of broken ribs and a minor concussion and I've been staying there at the hospital with him the entire time and I'm really wiped out but you don't need to come, really, because I've got things under--"

"I'm coming."

"Jim, you don't need to--"

Oh yes I do.

"Yes I do. There's a flight leaving for Denver in two hours and I've already got my ticket. Which hospital?"

"Jim, you don't--"

"WHICH HOSPITAL?"

Don't yell....

"Jim, I--"

"I'm coming. I have to be there."

Breathe.

"I love you."

That shut him down. Good. I think I need a minute here too.

"Jim?"

"What?"

"Jim. Um ... look. I was gonna talk about this with you later, but.... What I mean is, you don't have to say that. I know you're freaked right now, about me and Joel, and about what I said Thursday morning, too. But don't be, man. We're both okay, we're gonna be okay, and anyway, I shouldn't have said that, you know. I mean, we're friends, and I know that's what you're comfortable with, and I am too, and I don't want to lose that, Jim, so, well, why don't you just forget that I ever said--"

"Blair."

"Yeah?"

"Which hospital?"

"Um ... Denver Memorial. Jim--"

"I'll be there tonight. I'll grab a cab from the airport. Do you need anything?"

"Um, no. Wait. Yeah, Jim, yeah ... yes, I guess I do."

"Tell me."

"I need you to tell me that you didn't say what you said just because I said what I said. Thursday morning, I mean."

What? Oh. Okay. I got it.

Oh Chief. You don't have to act like more of an idiot than I am just to make me feel better.

"I didn't."

"You didn't?"

"No, Chief. I didn't say what I said just because you said what you said."

"But...."

Okay, Ellison, be as honest as he is. You can do it. Don't screw this up.

"Actually, I did. But only because I feel the same way. And I should have told you so. A long time ago. I'm sorry."

"Oh."

He's too quiet. This can't be good.

"Jim?"

"Here, Chief."

"You do?"

"I do."

"Oh. Um ... well then. Jim, can you ... would you ... ah, say it? Again?"

"I love you?"

"Yeah. That."

"Sure, babe. I love you."

'I love you too, Jim."

"I know that. I know."

~~~

Just to think you live inside of me
I had no idea how this could be
Now I'm crazy for your love
Can't believe I'm crazy for your love

The words you said you sang to me
And you showed me where I wanna be
Yea you sang to me
Oh you sang to me

~ 30 ~